Living of a Blesser = “A shortcut to a short life”
Slogan borrowed from A production by the National Children’s Theatre
What is a “Blesser”?
Technically, a blesser can be a male or female of any age.
“Blessers” is a slang term for a “rich” person who offers support (typically financial and material) to control a younger companion in exchange for sex and friendship.
In men’s case, they generally married older men who prey on poor and financially needy girls and young women. They provide them with gifts in exchange for sex and other favours.
“For young women, getting into these relationships is a survival strategy. They offer sex in exchange for financial gain so they can meet basic needs such as food, shelter, clothing, protection, affection, a job and livelihood opportunities,” states Sizwe Sama Yende in a City Press article.
“Power dynamics can also result in a blesser having so much power that the blessee ends up yielding to an abusive relationship,” says Nomazulu Singata, who studied the phenomenon. Me Singata graduated with a master of arts in ethics at the University of KwaZulu-Natal.
Blesser/blessee relationships are a mixture of prostitution, sugar daddies and paedophilia. Experts blame the culture for a rise in HIV infections. At 8,5 million, the country already has the highest number of people in the world living with HIV.
‘Rich men in South Africa who bribe schoolgirls for sex with phones and cheap shoes are a main driver of the highest HIV rates in the world.” The Guardian, 24 July 2016.
How does blessing work?
There are apparently “levels” of being blessed. Here are possible examples:
Level one, for example, is when the girl receives airtime and data in exchange for sex.
For example, level two is when a girl receives fancy hairstyles (hair extensions), clothes, handbags, and perhaps visits to local clubs.
For example, level three would be an iPhone, jewellery, a flat to stay in or a car.
Level Four is the highest and includes trips abroad – for example, a trip to Dubai for shopping.
Young women from poorer backgrounds in rural areas are more at risk of being targeted and exploited by blessers, particularly those who had lost parents due to HIV and AIDS. In some rural villages, the girls are constantly preyed on. They look up to an older man who makes promises. The common thread of young women here is that they want to find a way out of poverty. Some of the Blessers come into the villages when school is coming out and pick on a pretty girl who is barefoot because they know she has no money. Unfortunately, none of them is offering school uniforms or school fees. They provide cheap shoes or nice hair to a girl who would love something to make her feel special. The Blesser ends up leaving her both pregnant and HIV positive after a few nights out before raping another girl who resists his charms. A girl who has a Blesser looking after her is called a Blessee. In a country where sex has become a transaction between the poor and the rich, the young and the older, every week, around 2,000 women aged 15 to 24 contract HIV. They are now the largest at-risk group, with those aged 15 to 19 up to eight times more likely to be HIV positive than boys.
In a recent research study by Johannes N. Mampane¹, girls showed little regard for contracting or spreading HIV. He noted the following responses: “Everywhere you go, it HIV, HIV, HIV . . . it’s now boring and HIV can’t stop me from what I’m doing (transactional sex) because it doesn’t kill anymore. I know people who have tested HIV positive many years ago, and today they still look fine. ” “They have been telling us about this useless ABC (Abstain, Be faithful, Condoms) strategy . . . but can they give us money to survive?”
From Mampane’s¹ research, we get the following reasons for becoming a blessee:
What are the dangers of having a Blesser?
- No. 1: HIV. AIDS. Death.
- No. 2: Unwanted pregnancy, single parenting, failure to complete Basic education or university dropout.
- Another person owns you. He determines your worth, not you.
- You will have less time for studies and homework; instead, you will spend more time to please a demanding older man.
- You will have to share the man with his wife and other women. He will never be only yours.
- If you are less than 16 years old, having sex with an older man will constitute statutory rape.
- You will be a commodity – something for sale.
- Your status is temporary – you are replaceable at any time.
- You will lose chances of having a normal relationship with a young man your age.
What kind of person is a Blesser? (male or female)
- They have no respect for “blessee’s”. They see them as a commodity.
- They use people for sex and dump them when they are done with you.
- They have no responsibility towards you – they will leave you high and dry if you become HIV-infected (by them) or pregnant (in the case of females) and move on to their next target.
- What they feel for you is lust, not love.
- They will slut-shame you without a second thought.
- A Blesser is a sexual predator.
Deciding to become a “blessee” is the same as choosing to become a prostitute. You will be selling your body for sex. Before you make your life’s biggest mistake, look at yourself. “The greatest tragedy in life is not death but life without a purpose—life with the wrong priorities. Life’s greatest challenge is in knowing what to do. Nothing in life is without purpose, but not every purpose is known. When the purpose is unknown, abuse is inevitable,” “Myles Munroe. Have a look at the following video by Dr Myles Munroe. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukG8Vgmbyqk Decide to work to get out of poverty, to get your education, to realize your dreams, without having to sell your body to someone – because you are worth more. You are a child of God. If you are younger than 16 years, you can contact a sex trafficking hotline for help. Sex trafficking hotline: 0800 222 777Get help
Do you know who you are?
Resources:
A Shortcut to a Short Life. A National Children’s Theatre production. The Guardian. 24 July 2016.
Village girls fight the scourge of the ‘blessers’ – whose gifts ruin their lives | Aids and HIV | The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/jul/23/hiv-aids-africa-girls
¹Reproductive Health in Sub-Saharan Africa-Original Research. Exploring the “Blesser and Blessee” Phenomenon: Young Women, Transactional Sex, and HIV in Rural South Africa. Johannes N. Mampane. 2018
Understanding Your Unique Purpose – Rotimi Oluwaseyitan Ministries. https://pastorrotimi.org/understanding-your-unique-purpose/