Low self esteem

 Low Self Esteem

Having a low opinion of yourself is not modesty – it is self destruction.

Low self-esteem is actually a thinking disorder in which an individual views (thinks of) himself as inadequate, unacceptable, unworthy, unlovable, and/or incompetent – thinking that permeates every aspect of a person’s life.

Once thinking is formed, emotions and feelings follow that also irrational and distorted, causing the person to have difficulty knowing who and when to trust, inciting fear and trepidation in new situations in which a person may not know what is expected of him/her.

Low self-esteem ALWAYS forms in childhood when the individual is developing an initial view of how he or she, as a person, fits into the world. This process begins at birth and may continue to be cemented up to the age 8 or 10.

What are signs of having a low self-esteem?

  • social withdrawal
  • sensitivity to criticism
  • hostility
  • excessive pre-occupation with personal problems
  • physical symptoms like head aches, fatigue and insomnia (sleep disorders)

What causes a low self-esteem?

  • being subject to abuse – sexual, emotional or physical, and the loss of control associated with this
  • having your physical and emotional needs neglected in childhood
  • failing to meet the expectations of your parents
  • feeling like the ‘odd one out’ at school
  • coming from a community which often experiences prejudice, such as being an asylum seeker, or being poor but living in a wealthy neighbourhood
  • peer pressure to conform to social norms which you don’t agree with
  • bullying or excessive pressures at work
  • trauma
  • physical ill-health – its impact on your quality of life and activities you can do
  • bereavement
  • facing redundancy or being unemployed
  • social isolation and loneliness.

Self-help

Steps to improve low self-esteem

Steps to improve low self-esteem

Things a Person Can Do to Increase the Self-Esteem and Overcome Shyness

1. Positive self-talk.

The way that you think about yourself has a huge influence on your self-esteem. If you keep telling yourself that you’re no good, you might just start to believe it even though it’s not true. If you notice that you practice negative self-talk often, check out some ways that you can challenge your negative thinking and build your confidence levels.

Self talk

2. Don’t compare yourself to others

It can be really tempting to measure our own worth against other people. So what if your friend is awesome at table tennis and gets great marks? You just need to figure out what your niche is. Everyone is great at something – what are your strengths?

3. Exercise

Exercise helps to improve your mood. End of story.

4. Don’t strive for perfection

It’s really great if you want to do things well, but keep in mind that perfection isn’t possible. Check out one person’s story of coming to terms with their sweet imperfection.

5. Don’t beat yourself up when you make a mistake

Everyone on the planet makes mistakes – it’s in our basic human nature. Why should you be any different? When you stuff up, don’t stress, just learn from it and move on.

6. Focus on the things you can change

There’s no point wasting all your energy thinking about things that you can’t change. Why don’t you have a think about some of the things that are in your power to control and see what you can do about those?

7. Do things that you enjoy

If you’re doing things that you enjoy you’re more likely to be thinking positively. Schedule time for fun and relaxation into every day.

8. Celebrate the small stuff

Start small and work your way up – you can’t expect any huge progress to be made overnight.

9. Be helpful and considerate

Not only is helping people a great way to boost the moods of others, but you might find that you feel better about yourself after doing something particularly excellent.

10. Surround yourself with supportive people

Don’t hang around people who bring you down. Find a group of people who make you feel good about yourself and avoid those who tend to trigger your negative thinking.

Get help

Questions we can help with:
• How do I know I have low self-esteem?
• What are the symptoms of low self-esteem?
• Can I improve my self-esteem?
• Do you constantly compare yourself to others?
• Do you doubt in your own abilities?

Quiz

You can do a quiz to determine whether you have issues with your self-image.

Low Self Esteem Quiz

 

MOBIEG Helpline

If you need more help with self-esteem issues, you can chat  to a facilitator on the MOBIEG LIVE CHAT.

The service is free and you may stay anonymous.

 

Book a Counseling session

Therapists

Please note that this is a paid for service.