The New Narcotic
Pornography is perhaps the world’s most underestimated drug.
It is an addiction rooted in shame and shrouded in secrecy.
No one wants to come out and admit they have a problem. The shame and secrecy actually feed the addiction. Sex Addiction is defined as any sexually related compulsive behavior which interferes with normal living and causes severe stress on family, friends,loved ones, and one’s work environment.
Generally, addicts don’t perceive themselves as worthwhile persons. Nor do they believe that other people will care for them or meet their needs if everything was known about them, including the addiction. They believe sex is their most important need. Sex is what makes isolation bearable. It always does what it promises, but only for a moment. The relationship is with sex, not with people.
- Every second, over R 36 000 is spent on internet pornography.
- Over 28,000 internet users are viewing porn every second.
- 40 million Americans are regular users of porn sites.
- 25% of all search engine requests are pornography related.
- 68 million searches are conducted a day that are pornography related.
- 35% of all internet downloads are pornographic.
- There are 116,000 searches for child pornography daily.
- Although the average age at which a child first sees porn online is 11, children as young as 7 years is being exposed to porn on their cell phones.
- Every 39 minutes a new pornographic video is being created in the USA.
- The number one type of sexual addiction is habitual viewing of pornography.
The pathway to porn addiction:
1st step – Addiction:
Characterized by repeated return to material. Once the consumer gets hooked, they keep coming back for more, and still more, of this powerful imagery. Once addicted, they cannot get rid of this dependency by themselves.
2nd step – Escalation:
With the passage of time, the addict requires rougher, more explicit, more deviant, and “kinky” sexual material to achieve the same ‘high’. – It is at this stage that, if their wives or partners are involved with them, they eventually push their partners into doing increasingly bizarre and deviant sexual activities. In many cases, this results in a broken relationship when the partner refuses to go further or to participate. This often leads to much conflict, separation and eventually can lead to divorce.
3rd step – Desensitization:
This is when what was previously seen as gross now becomes an acceptable “turn on”. Material that was taboo, repulsive, and even illegal, in time is seen as acceptable. The person really believes that this type of antisocial, or deviant, sexual activity depicted is normal – even if the activity is illegal and contrary to their personal standards and moral beliefs.
4th step: Acting out:
This 4th phase is the increase tendency to act out sexually the behaviours viewed in the pornography. Merely looking no longer satisfies the addict. The fantasies have to be acted out. The addict has been repeatedly exposed to compulsive promiscuity, exhibitionism, group sex, voyeurism, frequenting strip clubs and massage parlours, even having sex with children, rape, and inflicting pain on themselves or a partner during sex.
Compiled by: Clive Human, The Secret in our Pews. http://www.christianaction.org.za/index.php/articles/pornography/39-the-secret-in-our-pews-porn-addiction-and-how-you-can-be-set-free
The Last Interview with Ted Bundy, a serial killer who murdered 35 women. A must watch for any person that still thinks watching pornography is harmless fun.
Why is porn so addictive?
Viewing porn excites the mind and sexually arouses the body. A natural consequence is the carnal desire to act out sexually and relieve the sexual tension. Most often, this is done by masturbation. Pornography is habit-forming and masturbation is habit-forming and the two together become a powerful force for addiction. The self-stimulation to a sexual climax is momentarily pleasurable and it can initially elevate a person’s mood, providing a momentary “high.” That usually results in the temptation to repeatedly replicate these feelings, potentially producing an obsessive- compulsive pattern if not stopped in time by the obvious red flags.
In case you were still doubtful – pornography addiction is real. Considering the symptoms and comparing them to those that we know of from other addictions; the similarities are shocking.
Porn addicts have in fact a range of symptoms which are typical to those that use porn excessively:
- Social anxiety
- Erectile dysfunction
- Lack of interest in real sex
- Lack of interest in anything other than porn
- Relationship & Marital issues
- Employment issues & Jobless
- Poor academic performance
Some consequences of being addicted to pornography are:
1. Sexual addiction using cybersex, once started, escalates quite quickly.
2. Sexual addiction on the internet will extend to non-internet behaviours (like cheating on your partner, visiting strip clubs, having sex with prostitutes, raping women, etc).
3. Sexual addiction magnifies behaviours (feelings of depression and suicide, relationship problems, etc) as well as associated problems (e.g. drugs, alcohol, nicotine, gambling. etc).
4. Sexual addiction will affect your work, relationships, finances, health, etc. in a negative way once it gets out of control. There comes a point where you won’t be able to control your acting-out due to the addition and your compulsive behaviours will eventually destroy you.
How can porn addiction be treated?
Recovery from Internet pornography addiction and any related conditions (such as erectile dysfunction) can be achieved, but it requires willpower, determination and an understanding of just what has been happening. Additionally, a desire to make changes in this and other areas of life is useful to the process that is appropriately termed “rebooting.”
This “cold turkey” style experience is required because the brain has undergone the same changes that it would with any other type of addiction. Rebooting – a term usually used to describe the act of restarting a troublesome computer – is particularly apt, allowing the recovering Internet porn addict to reprogram themselves, staying away from porn, cutting back on masturbation completely during the reboot period and eventually remove the association between the two activities.
Web filters and a change of any porn-related email addresses can help, as can restoring your operating system to factory settings, thereby creating a “clean” computer. Mobile phones and tablets – indeed, any digital device used for the enjoyment of porn – should be also cleaned up and suitable software installed.
It is very difficult to stop porn addiction without help. Once you are addicted to it, you need sexual addiction therapy, as it is treated as an addiction (like drug addiction, alcoholism, etc.), which takes about 2 –3 years to get under control.
Do a self-test quiz to determine if you have a porn addiction. – Pornography Quiz
You can get help by chatting to a facilitator on LIVE CHAT. The service is free and you may stay anonymous.
We are online Sunday : 18h00-20h30 Monday- Thursday : 19h00-21h30.
Level of Addiction Quiz
If you know you have a problem with pornography addiction, you can do the following quiz to determine your level of addiction. Click on the link below. https://www.recoveryzone.com/tests/sex-addiction/SAST/index.php
Support group for porn addicts. The purpose of this group is to offer support and advice to people struggling with pornography addiction. It is essential for people struggling with this problem to attend a support group once a week to maintain and strengthen their recovery. The group is online every Wednesday evening from 20h00-21h30. You can choose an alias for yourself in the group and stay completely anonymous.
You can book counselling sessions for Porn & Sex Addiction with the following therapist: