“Oh darling! You can’t fix yourself by breaking someone else!”
Kim Jones Pothier
What is Revenge-porn?
Revenge porn, also known as ”non-consensual sharing of sexual images”, is the distribution of one or more sexually explicit photos of someone else without the subject’s permission.
The photo may be one that the victim took herself and naively shared with the eventual poster, a photo taken by someone else (usually an ex-boyfriend or lover), or an image taken from the victim’s computer or device by a hacker. The victims are overwhelmingly female, and the damage done to their reputations and psyches can be enormous.
Revenge porn is a product of the internet age we currently live in, complete with immediate access to smartphones and other mobile devices. Revenge porn is essentially posting sexual photos of an ex-lover online as an act of vengeance after the relationship goes sour. These photos, typically taken during the course of the relationship, are exchanged via mobile devices or taken exclusively by the person posting the photos. Photos of this nature are often published with personal information about the victim attached to the photo. 80% of revenge porn victims took the photographs themselves.
Revenge porn is often used as a means to blackmail individuals into performing sex acts or continue a relationship.
What are the possible outcomes of those shared images?
They might get leaked worldwide.
They might get used to pornographic videos.
They may destroy one’s reputation and social life.
Over the last decade, websites have emerged which make money from these shots. Women are primarily the victims of these websites though some men are also targets. These photos do more than humiliate the victim. But it can affect every aspect of a person’s life, including their work and family.
Revenge porn has, unfortunately, become an easy way for ex-lovers to humiliate their former lover in the most shameless of manners. Many couples exchange sexual photos of one another during the course of a relationship that is meant to be for “their eyes only.” Unfortunately, they do not consider the possibility of a future break-up. Because most relationships eventually end before death, those people are not playing the odds. The other partner often reassures them that they will keep the photos secure and never show them to anyone. However, stories have emerged over the last few years, assuring us that break-ups never go as smoothly as we think they will, and one partner often hotly turns to the internet to display their anger.
Get help
The Act that protects you against harassment or bullying online or in the real world and allows for protection orders to be issued is the Protection from Harassment Act of 2013.
In terms of the Act, harassment includes:
- directly or indirectly
- engaging in conduct
- that the alleged perpetrator ( bully) knows or ought to know
- causes mental, psychological, physical, financial or emotional harm to the complainant (victim) or inspires the reasonable belief that such harm may be caused.
This means if someone is causing harm in the ways mentioned above, you can get a protection order against that person, and it goes for online bullying or bullying in real life.
Self-help
How to prevent having compromising photos of you published online
- Never have or take any pictures of yourself busy undressing, semi-nude or nude – period.
- Note: Digital content is dangerous content. Your pics could have been stored in an I Cloud moments after you took them. And although you have deleted them immediately, they are still in your I Cloud – which can be hacked. (Remember Jennifer Lawrence from the Hunger games?) Also, your phone can be stolen, and your nude can be screenshot and forwarded to the rest of the world. This is a business for some sic individuals – they steal phones to use the content for extortion. It is not just adults who do this – there are even school kids who do this for pocket money.
- If you still are brave/dumb enough to take pictures (or videos) of yourself in the nude (or in various stages of undress), do NOT send them to anyone – period.
- PARENTS (guardians, uncles, aunts and grandparents) talk to your children and pre-teens about the dangers of taking these types of pictures. If you take pics of yourself under 18 years old, you can be charged with creating child pornography. If you send it to someone, you can land an additional charge for the distribution of child pornography.
- Suppose someone takes an intimate, private, personal picture (or video) if you ask them to delete it immediately. Please make sure you see that it has been deleted.
- If the picture(s) (or videos) was taken by a professional, make certain you own the copyright – no exceptions. (This is still a dumb idea.)
- Ensure you own/have the original memory card the photos (or videos) were taken on – or see they are deleted.
- If someone has compromising pictures or video of you, be firm in your request for them to delete it. Let them know you are serious about your privacy and security. Do not be intimidated. Get help if you need it: parents, School, Police, anyone with authority. In most countries the owning and distributing pictures or video of anyone “underage” is illegal.
- Do not post or upload intimate, personal pictures or videos onto any website – period. This includes all social media and dating sites unless you want to share that picture or video with everyone on the internet – including your friends, family, employer and church.
- Don’t be conned into taking ‘pretty’ pictures for a photographer who promises to make you a star. Check the credentials of anyone you are getting into a professional arrangement with and not sign away your rights to your images. Have a professional negotiate a contract for you. We had many girls who fell into this trap and were now being blackmailed for their pictures.
What to do when you find compromising pictures of you published online?
- Don’t Panic. Respond quickly. Faster, the better. Be confident. Get help
- Contact the authorities (POLICE) – especially if you or the person in the picture or video were underage, especially if the perpetrator of this crime is known to you. You never permitted the pictures to be shared. To see which types of charges you can lay: https://www.wellnessplatform.co.za/articles/cyber-bullying/
- Find as many copies and versions as you can. You are the best person to identify this content. Often it will be cropped or altered in some way, so often, you can identify it the quickest. Make a list. Like a weed, if you can get at the source, you can stop it from spreading. Often only one website was the source of the uploaded picture or video. It is important to get it removed from there and move on to the other sites if there are any.
- Begin Processing take-downs immediately. The faster, the better. Staying on top of getting your content taken down means you can stop or slow the spread. You can conduct -yourself, use a lawyer or use a service like DMCA.com Professional Takedown Service.
- In South Africa, you can contact the Digital Law company for assistance. https://www.thedigitallawco.com/
Don’t let the shame factor prevent you from seeking help. The moral problem ultimately lies not with you but with the scumbag that breaks your trust and distributes them. Why is it a man can post a video of himself having sex with a woman as part of a defamation campaign against her, yet all the negative focus is on her?
Avoiding Criminal Charges from Online Behavior
The crime of harassment (which can include stalking, hate crimes, and cyberbullying) occurs when one person acts in a way designed to annoy, provoke, threaten, or otherwise cause another person emotional distress. Harassment, therefore, also occurs when a person uses an electronic device such as a phone or computer to communicate threats, sometimes anonymously.
Rule Number 1 – Be Nice
One of the best ways to avoid criminal charges is also the most obvious. Be nice. Do not say anything online that you would not say in front of your parents.
Rule Number 2 – Check ID’s
Studies show that many teens are unaware that naked photos of people under 18 are considered child pornography. Child pornography laws are tough and carry harsh penalties. Even if the teen depicted took and sent the photo, and even if the person who received the photo is also under 18, it is still child pornography. No matter your age, do not request, take, or look at nude photos of people under the age 18.
Note: Also, do not engage in any sexually explicit talk (or texting, messaging, or chatting) with anyone under the age of 18. Sexually propositioning a child (or even a person posing as a child under the age of 18) is a crime – child enticement – and like child pornography, it carries serious penalties.
”I may have done something wrong over a sex chat site and am seeking legal advice. I was recently IP banned from two different sex chat sites in the last few days. Before I explain how secure is this, meaning what I say, can it be linked back to my IP address? In the first site, I misread the person’s age and asked for a nude, which she consented to, provided that I share also.
After she sent it, I looked again, saw her age, and sent a fake pic of me, and after some more chatting, when she asked for more pics, I refused, and the conversation ended. Ok, so on the second site, I talked with several people, some underage. I did not see any pictures of them and limited contact to role play only. I recently turned 18, and about a week ago was my first experience with a sex chat. I shared several pics with others, and while the subjects were obviously young, they were not illegal. At least, I don’t think so.”
Counsellor: From where did you access these sites: from your own PC on an open Internet link?
”I was on the private browser, using home Wi-fi, no VPN or proxy, nothing much, actually. Even dumber, the email that I used is a school account, so its even less anonymous… I don’t mind getting banned for breaking a rule, it’s more I’m worried if they share information with Feds, and then I have to worry about a knock on the door, you know what I mean?”
Counsellor: What are the reasons you joined this activity? Did pornography play a role in this?
”Well, I was actually looking more for role-playing, and yes, of course, porn is a part of my life. Well, I started when I was about 12-13, and what made me start? Well, rubbing off is a lot easier to porn than just imagination.”
Rule Number 3 – Don’t Share
When it comes to nude photos, inappropriate remarks, or anything else that you think could offend, the best rule to follow is this: do not share. Sharing photos or images of a person without their permission may also be considered an invasion of privacy, which can be a crime.
Sharing intimate images of others without their consent is a crime.
Quiz
You can do a self-test quiz to learn more about cyberbullying.