Are you afraid of being alone?
Some people are afraid of being alone. They need people around them to feel happy and content. Why is it difficult for someone to be alone? What is the difference between being alone and being single? Many people have confused ”singleness” with being alone.
Dr Myles Munroe stated ”There is a profound difference between the two. In Genesis 2:18, God said, It is not good that man should be alone. He did not say that it wasn’t good for him to be single.” According to Dr Munroe not to be alone requires only to have other humans as close friends and companions. He also says marriage was NOT instituted to save humans from loneliness – human beings were created for that.
This revelation from Dr Myles is a very important one for us to grasp. If you do, it means you won’t dislike being ”single or unmarried” and you won’t get into a relationship for the wrong reasons. What are wrong reasons? If you don’t like being alone, if you need only physical gratification, if you feel empty without someone at your side are some wrong reasons. Some people will say ” I cannot live without you” or ”If you leave my world will fall to pieces”. Statements like that are not romantic, they are rather scary because they show a dependency much like addiction. You can become addicted to a person, much like addiction to a substance or behavior.
”Being single is the highest calling in the realm of relationships because a successful relationship or marriage is the product of two people being successfully single.” Dr Myles Munroe
What is the meaning of this for us? Dr Munroe explains it means when you are still single, you have to become a totally unique, content individual, who knows you don’t need anyone to complete you. If you can do that, you can be successful in any relationship, because you bring into that relationship what you are as a person. In contrast to that – a person who is not happy and content as single person, who do not know who he/she is in Christ, or who do not have a firm identity of their own, will always reach for someone else to hold them up.
Until you become whole, you will always be dependent on other people’s opinions for your own self worth. – Dr Myles Munroe
Dr Munroe explains that if you are not a content ”whole” person, you might reach out to others to complete you for the wrong reasons, and you might be exploited sexually, financially or emotionally by another person. In a situation like this, you are frantically just trying to fulfill your own needs, and might not ever care about the others person’s needs. The truth is that no one in a relationship or marriage has the time to fill up the emptiness a partner feels. We see this often when a person complains about a partner who are too busy to fulfill their needs, or give enough attention to them.
If you don’t know who you are, why do you think you will find yourself in someone else?
Dr Myles Munroe
The bottom line here is you have to love yourself first. If you don’t you will expect from your partner to make up for the absence of self-love. In truth, no one has time to be dealing with a person who do not love themselves, who are needy, demanding, and empty. No one can compensate for what you lack in yourself.
When a relationship fails, it is a good idea to give yourself time to reflect on what happened, instead of moving quickly into the next one. Ask yourself what was your contribution that the relationship failed? If you don’t your next relationship might follow the same path.
How do I become a whole person?
What is God asking you do to? What is the thing God created you to be?
“Sometimes God will back you into a corner and take away all your other alternatives because He wants to show you His miracle-working power. Perhaps you are facing a difficult situation and have come to the place where you can say, “I’ve tried everything else. All I have now is what God has said to me.” Whenever God reduces you to His Word, if that’s all you have to go on, you’re about to receive a miracle! As long as you have a scheme to fall back on, you aren’t going to see the miracle. However, when you say, “I can’t do anything else; I don’t know what to do. If God doesn’t come through, I’m going under,” then God says, “I like this situation. I’m going to get involved in this, because I love to do the impossible!” If you have faith in God’s Word, God will take what is “impossible” and make it seem like an everyday thing.” Myles Munroe, Understanding The Purpose And Power Of Prayer
“Faith gives us hope, so if faith is lost, hope flees away like mist in the wind. Loss of faith leads to loss of hope, which leads to despair. Life becomes pointless and without value.” Dr Myles Munroe
If you need to talk about this, you are welcome to chat to one of our online counselors. The service is free and you may remain anonymous. Click on: LIVE CHAT
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