How to find and make friends
“True friends are those rare people who come to find you in dark places and lead you back to the light.”
A friend is someone you care about and who cares about you. It differs from an acquaintance, who is someone who exchanges small talk with you.
A friend shares interaction and communication with you on a deeper level, where there is mutual trust, comfort, acceptance and loyalty.
Characteristics of a GOOD friend:
- Shows genuine interest in your life,
- listens to you, respect your opinions
- accept you unconditionally
- are trustworthy and loyal
- help you succeed in what you do
- share things with you
Characteristics of a BAD friend:
- Person is controlling
- critical, selfish
- abuses your generosity
- runs you down
- drags you down with bad influences
- is not trustworthy or loyal to stick with you in bad times.
Warning signs that someone is a toxic friend:
How to be a good friend:
- Invest to increase – the more you put in, the more you get out of a friendship.
- Do unto others as you want them to do unto you. Be the best friend you can be.
- Always be prepared to listen – you have two ears and one mouth.
- Do not smother another person – if you love someone, set them free, give them space to live and breathe.
- Aside from trust and loyalty, do not set to many rules in your friendship. Let it evolve naturally.
Meeting new people
There is nothing wrong with you if you struggle to meet new people. Perhaps your parents never taught you how to make friends as an adult. It is different from the way in which kids make friends. For some people it is a step out of their comfort zone. Making the right friends can make your life ten times more enjoyable. It’s way better than just accepting that you’ll have to spend your time in a lonely and dull state, while you know you deserve better than that.
A simple, but crucial tip is that having one commonality with someone is not enough—you need two commonalities to create a friendship. When you go to the social gatherings and start meeting new people, look for things that you have in common other than the main subject of the meeting.
Ideas where to meet people:
Now, of course you have to know how to talk to people, have a little fun, exchange contact information and take it from there. But, knowing where to go to meet people can make the whole process of making friends easier for you.
- Join or take a class.
- Get involved in sports/gym.
- Join a non-profit or just go to their events
- Volunteer to help out.
- The Dog Park : or any pet-related event (if you have a pet)
- Invite someone for a movie or coffee.
- Online Forums : Fitness, Dating, Sports
- Track down lost friends via social media.
- Offer to help with a carpool to work.
- Attend art gallery openings, book readings, lectures, movie premieres.
- Professional Events : Fairs, Function-Driven Groups
- Singles Clubs and Events and Speed Dating
- Self Improvement clubs: meditation, holistic healing.
- Contests and Tournaments : Poker, Video-games, Races, Dance contests
- Wine/Beer Events : Casual-Drinkers clubs, Beer Fans, Wine Tasting.
Remember, people are bored and no one listens to them. They’re desperate for someone like you to come and ask them questions about themselves.