How to regain trust
Rebuilding trust when it’s been broken is not dependent only on the person who has broken it, or how many times they can prove they are honest. It depends on the person who has decided not to trust anymore. Though they may be totally justified in their decision not to trust, as long as they choose not to, the relationship has no hope of survival and should be ended. If or when they decide to trust again, there is hope reborn. – Doe Zantamata
Here are ten things you can do that can help to build trust again:
1. Admit your mistakes
Mistakes – everyone makes them, but not everyone owns up to them. But if your objective is to create trust, admitting when you’ve screwed up is not an option. Ever heard the adage “The coverup is worse than the crime?” Well, this is especially true when you’re seeking to establish a reputation for trustworthiness.
Do What You Say You Will Do. Consistent, dependable and reliable behavior is one of the most expeditious ways to earn trust. If you make a promise, keep your word and follow through to the best of your ability. Most of us try, but sometimes things fall through the cracks. Minimize these mistakes and you’ll quickly build trust.
3. Give trust
Commitment and trust is a reciprocal action. Ever seen the movie Meet the Parents? Robert Deniro’s character (Jack Burns) lectures Ben Stiller (Greg) on the “Burn’s Family Circle of Trust” which he prides himself on: “I keep nothing from you and you keep nothing from me – and round and round we go.”
Trust is like that (just less funny).
4. Listen mindfully
Mindfulness is observation without judgment. For illustrative purposes, think of the people you consider to be the most trustworthy in your life. The chances are that they’re willing to listen to you no matter your state of mind. Mindful (or active) listening is rare nowadays – a fact which makes the practice invaluable for establishing trust.
5. Show interest
Demonstrating interest helps build relationships and reinforce trust. Showing interest is also critical to developing and maintaining rapport. You show interest in someone through being inquisitive and curious. If the person senses your sincerity, you’ll quickly earn their trust.
6. Be self-aware
Self-awareness is defined as “conscious knowledge of one’s own character, feelings, motives, and desires.” Renowned behavioral psychologist Nan S. Russell calls self-awareness “the missing ingredient’ for building trust. “(Too) often people don’t realize the messages that their actions send,” says Russell, “You can’t adjust your actions to communicate what you intend without self-awareness, ” and you can’t establish trust when the signals you send are the wrong ones.
7. Be prompt
Chronic poor time management should be considered personally inexcusable. It’s also certainly viewed as a sign of disrespect by others. The odds are that if you don’t hold yourself accountable, then someone else will. In the meantime, you’ll initiate a sense if doubt in others, which will call into question anything you do or say – no matter how well-intended.
8. Communicate openly
Sometimes being open and honest can be a bit uncomfortable. This is especially true if you’re conflict-avoidant, which many people are – and that’s okay. Open communication is easier when you define your intentions during the onset, act politely, and listen intently. Effective communication may be the most important aspect of developing trust.
9. Resolve conflict swiftly
Conflict, in any form and to any degree, is counterproductive to establishing trust. Thus, it’s incredibly important to quash any conflicts as they arise and to do so quickly and efficiently. It is not necessary to approach conflict with a “conflict-like” mindset. Here’s an experiment: the next time someone gets angry with you – it doesn’t matter if it’s in traffic or at the office – smile politely and nod. You’ll be astonished at some of the responses you get (most will be positive!)
10. Be exemplary
There’s no better way to establish a culture of trust in a relationship than to exemplify the behavior. If this sounds like a “blanket solution” for reciprocating trust, that’s because it is. Quite simply, making the conscious decision always to tell the truth, be sincere, be responsible, refrain from gossip, and so forth will communicate to others that they can trust you. In return, you may find it’s much easier to trust them. Indeed, it is a “Circle of Trust.”