The difference between suicide/suicide ideation / suicidal behaviour

• Suicide is when a person causes their death on purpose.
• Thoughts of wanting to die are called suicidal ideation.
• Suicidal behaviour is when a person is focused on doing things that can cause death.

Most people who have suicidal thoughts do not make suicide attempts, but suicidal thoughts are considered a risk factor.

• Depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders
• Loss – loved one, pet, friend, parent divorce, school change or relocation
• Conflict with parents, siblings, friends
• Perfectionism/pressure from self or parents
• Being uncertain of sexual orientation/ LGBT
• Problems with alcohol or drugs
• History of sexual or physical abuse or exposure to violence
• Low self-esteem & Bullying
• Medical problems, for example, unplanned pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease -HIV
• Academic struggles – failing grades, not coping
• Teens lacking social and family support, dysfunctional families with child neglect, domestic violence
• Family history of mental health disorders

Source:  https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/tween-and-teen-health/in-depth/teen-suicide/art-20044308

1. Talking or writing about suicide — for example, making statements such as “I’m going to kill myself” or “I won’t be a problem for you much longer.”
2. Feeling trapped or hopeless about a situation
3. Withdrawing from social contact & isolation
4. Having mood swings
5. Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs
6. Changing the normal routine, including eating or sleeping patterns
7. Neglecting one’s appearance
8. Doing risky or self-destructive things
9. Giving away belongings when there is no other logical explanation for why this is being done
10. Loss of interest in school or schoolwork
11. Developing personality changes or being severely anxious or agitated when experiencing some of the warning signs listed above
12. They become suddenly cheerful after being depressed – a big red flag. Often, a person who has been contemplating suicide experiences a lift in the mood once they decide to do it. The final decision takes them out of the dark hole, and while everyone around them thinks they are better now- they have just decided now is the time to end it.

Strong family connections – a child with support and someone they can go to for help are less likely to harm themselves. Always nurture your children, foster open communication, and show you love them in words (praise & encouragement, ‘’I love you’’) and deeds (hugs & kisses).

Teach your child how to solve problems. Children who can figure out ways to solve problems (be it by resolving conflict or coping strategies) are at a lower risk of feeling hopeless and becoming suicidal.

Make it easy for your child to reach out and get help. Access to a psychiatrist, a psychologist, support groups or online text-based helplines helps them feel they are not alone and assistance is available. Do not prevent your child from access to prescription medication that can alleviate symptoms of depression. Many young people hide symptoms of depression from their parents because their parents do not believe in mental illness or medication, or parents blame their children for draining their medical aid funding because of their mental health doctors’ visits.

Restrict their access to highly lethal means of suicide. Nearly  50% of teens who commit suicide do so by using a gun.

Cherish cultural and religious beliefs that discourage suicide and that support self-preservation.

Source: Childmind.org – Teen suicides

Being lost and neglected—without substantial parental or elderly guidance, young people want to do things their way, but they don’t have enough skills or wisdom to make good choices. Seventy per cent of young children in SA grow up in single-parent families. Often, parents are not equipped or skilled to deal with youth problems, or they are too wrapped up in their own struggles to survive.

Growing up in a dysfunctional family – a toxic family kills a child’s hope of things ever-changing for the better. Many young people feel suicidal because of being stuck in a family that harms them instead of nurturing and supporting them. Especially damaging are families where there are domestic violence, drug abuse, and mental illness.

Loss of interest in schooling and dropping out – are most often caused by the lack of nurturing in a dysfunctional family environment because children eventually lose interest in life. Another problem is that children in almost 80% of South African schools receive an education that is among the worst in the world. 55% never finish their primary education. On top of that, the government announced plans in 2018 to cut Basic education phase funding by approximately R 7 billion over the next three financial years – one of their worst ideas ever.

Criminal gangs terrorize and manipulate young people to join them – it leads to drug addiction, pregnancy, and a drop in school attendance and interest. Young people experience a lot of peer pressure, seldom pushing them in a constructive direction. Pregnancy rates among teen girls are steady every year, with an average of 100,000 babies born per year. A lack of knowledge, a don’t care attitude by mothers of teen girls, and a lack of access to contraception are contributing problems. Many teen girls don’t know where to go for contraception, and they are scared nurses will tell their mothers.
Lack of finance prevents them from completing their primary education and then moving on to tertiary education, which may be a skills program, college, or university.

Lack of study and career guidance: Wrong subject choices limit them in career choices and choosing fields of study that are already saturated too (for example, law, psychology, and tourism). This can cause them to stay unemployed despite having a degree. Many can’t find internships that allow them to finish the practical side of their studies.

A government that considers the majority of our youth incapable of succeeding on their merit and continues to implement laws and notable exceptions for young people of certain races – is giving young people the message that they are weak, second-class citizens who must be protected. The system implemented to ‘’help’’ you get ahead might hold you back. Many young people have developed a sense of entitlement because of this, and they are not motivated to do whatever it takes to succeed. The world is tough, and only those prepared to get out of their comfort zones succeed.

Be present, listen & observe

Young people often shy away from talking to their parents, and it is challenging for parents to know what their teen feels or thinks.  Parents are busy and caught up in their own lives and can easily miss the red flags that pop up telling you something is off with your child.

Make time for your child, especially when you don’t have time. Listen to what they say or do not say without interrupting. Put down your cell phone when you listen and talk. You never want to give your child the impression that other things are more important than them. Always encourage open communication and be careful about how you react. Does it encourage the child to open up more or close up? Take note of the child’s physical appearance – is there something different?

Questions to ask: “You seem sad. Would you like to talk about it? Maybe I can help. How long have you been feeling like this?”

Take talk about depression seriously.

If your child tells you they feel depressed – get him/her professional help. Sometimes, a child has a bad day, but many bad days mean they are not coping. Never let mental health problems snowball – the sooner the child is evaluated and treated, the less the disruption in their lives. Depression is not something that goes away. It is also not just a phase of teenage melodrama. Please take note of it and act on it.

Questions to ask: ‘’How can I help? I see you are hurting inside. What would help to take the pressure off now? Have you ever thought of speaking to someone for help? A professional person?’’

Create an atmosphere where you also open up & share feelings

Share your feelings. Let your teen know he or she is not alone. You are there for them, and you care about them. You can say that everyone feels sad or depressed or anxious now and then, including moms and dads. It is okay for them to say if they are not coping. You will help get him/her professional help.

Discourage isolation

Encourage your teen not to isolate himself or herself from family and friends. One of the symptoms of depression is to withdraw from life. It’s usually better to be around other people than to be alone. But don’t push if he says no.

Recommend exercise.

Physical activity as simple as walking or as vigorous as pumping iron can put the brakes on mild to moderate depression.

Safely store firearms, alcohol, and medications. Access to means can play a role if a teen is already suicidal.

Source: https://www.healthychildren.org/English/health-issues/conditions/emotional-problems/Pages/Ten-Things-Parents-Can-Do-to-Prevent-Suicide.aspx