Did you know that left unaddressed, chronic loneliness can cause the same amount of damage to your lifespan as smoking 15 cigarettes a day? Fast facts: Nearly half of adults say they often feel alone (46%). Children are no exception. In a recent survey, 2/3 of 11-17-year-old teens indicated they felt stressed out by loneliness. Signs of loneliness: Younger children They create imaginary friends. They seem clingy/ ask you to play with them more than usual. They seek your attention by misbehaving. They act timid or unsure of themselves. They cry more often than other children of their age Adolescents…

What does concentration mean when you are studying? Concentration is the ability to give something our undivided attention to the exclusion of other distractions. Most students report dissatisfaction with their ability to concentrate and feel they do not work as efficiently as they would like. Can surfing social media affect my concentration? Not only are attention spans shortening, but many users multitask while using social media, resulting in even less focus on each job. Through rapid and instant pleasure, social media has taken over our attention spans, impacting our brains’ capacity to focus on anything else we deem less attractive.…

What is the secret to being good at relationships? Do you know emotionally mature people find building and maintaining healthy relationships easy? ”Emotional maturity is the ability to handle situations without unnecessarily escalating them. Instead of seeking to blame someone else for their problems or behavior, emotionally mature people seek to fix the problem or behavior. They accept accountability for their actions.” Monique Judge What are the personality traits of someone who is emotionally mature? They are responsible, honest, and stable. They empathise with others, stay calm under stressful conditions, are humble, have integrity, are well aware of their strengths…

Alcohol use in South Africa is double the world norm, making us a hard-drinking country. It is also the drug of choice for our youth. Between 7.5% and 31.5% of South Africans have an alcohol problem or are at risk of developing one (NDMP 2006-2011) Alcohol abuse never affects one person – it affects families. There is hardly a family that hasn’t been touched in some way: whether you’re the child of an alcoholic or someone who has been punched on a night out, the fetal alcohol syndrome baby of an alcoholic mother, the abused spouse – there are so…

Most people sometimes feel unhappy, sad, miserable or just down. Depression is different from that in the sense that a person feels down for a more extended period, and the feeling involves the person’s total being. It means we are emotionally unhealthy.  Depression is a normal response to abnormal life experiences. The symptoms are a messenger of a deeper problem. “We have been systematically misinformed about what depression and anxiety are. What if depression is, in fact, a form of grief—for our own lives not being as they should be? What if it is a form of grief for the connections we…

You have a choice: https://youtu.be/O5fdjtECY08 Contraception (birth control/family planning) is the deliberate use of artificial methods or other techniques to prevent pregnancy due to sexual intercourse. In South Africa, contraceptive products are provided free of charge to citizens at provincial hospitals and clinics.  You need a prescription to obtain birth control from a chemist. The primary forms of artificial contraception are: 1. Barrier methods: Male or female condoms 2. Contraceptive pill: Combined pill which contains estrogen & progestin (COC pills) or a progestogen-only medicine (POP pills) 3. Injection: contains the hormone progestin; one is given every two months (eight weeks)…

Sexual abuse is unwanted sexual activity, with perpetrators using force, making threats or taking advantage of victims who are not able to give consent. https://www.mobieg.co.za/abuse/child-sexual-abuse-why-dont-kids-tell/ What is the legal age for consent in South Africa? The law defines a child as a person under the age of 18 years. However, the age of consent is 16 years, regardless of gender and sexual orientation. It means that adults in South Africa (someone over 18) cannot have sex with minors (12, 13, 14 and 15). Sexual abuse can also happen in adult relationships, known as “intimate partner sexual violence”. What is…

Guilt is a powerful emotion that can profoundly impact your life. The Cambridge dictionary¹ defines it as ”a feeling of worry or unhappiness that you have because you have done something wrong, such as causing harm to another person”. When a person indicates they are willing to absorb guilt, a manipulator (e.g., family, culture /tribe, boss, friends, or organisations) will stick to that person like glue and feed on their energy. They can use words like “must,” “obligated,” and “have to” to force individuals to serve their agenda. It is a pervasive feeling whose primary function is to signal that…

Find a job MobieG created this job search engine to assist people in looking for job opportunities. The system constantly scans all South African job websites to allow you to find new opportunities. https://www.mobieg.co.za/jobs/

“Anxiety robs you of the good and joy around us and makes you think you must always be ready for the next disaster.” SAM BURROWS Do you have symptoms of: Palpitations, pounding heart, or accelerated heart rate Sweating Trembling or shaking Sensations of shortness of breath or smothering Feelings of choking Chest pain or discomfort Nausea or abdominal distress  Anxiety feels like fear. It is a feeling of worrying, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. When it’s often caused by a problem that can’t be solved, like money difficulties, we call it ”worry”. If it is a sudden reaction to…

“I cut myself because you wouldn’t let me cry. I cried because you wouldn’t let me speak. I spoke because you wouldn’t let me shine. I shone because I thought you loved me…” Emilie Autumn, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls It’s important to remember that self-harm, such as cutting or burning, is not simply a trend or a phase. It’s a serious addiction and a harmful way to cope with emotional pain, intense anger, or frustration. Self-injury, also referred to as self-inflicted violence, self-harm, or self-mutilation, is an act of violence done to oneself without the intent of suicide.…

Having a low opinion of yourself is not modesty – it is self-destruction. Bobbe Sommer ”No matter what you do when you are insecure, it will all be done poorly. The higher the stress of your desire to act well, the worse the results will be. Lack of faith in your abilities and overrated complexity of external problems lead to a state of constraint or constant stupor. ” Vadim Zeland¹ The Self Esteem Institute defines low self-esteem as ”a thinking disorder in which the individual views (thinks of) himself as inadequate, unacceptable, unworthy, unlovable, and incompetent – thinking that permeates…

Self-doubt is akin to being tethered by an invisible chain, hindering one’s ability to progress. Despite having completed one’s studies, acquired the necessary skills, and graduated, self-doubt creeps in, whispering that you’re not prepared, not competent enough, or undeserving of new opportunities. Self-doubt can be paralyzing, negatively impacting work, leading to mistakes, and fostering feelings of loneliness and isolation. It can make you believe that you will never belong. A pervasive fear of the unknown drives it. Where does self-doubt stem from? It can originate from a challenging childhood, particularly in an environment lacking encouragement or support—parents who doubt themselves…

“I’m starting to remember who I was before you convinced me I was worthless.” Abuse is the inappropriate or harmful use or treatment of something, often for dishonest or wrongful gain. Abuse can come in many forms, such as physical or verbal maltreatment, injury, sexual assault, violation, rape, unjust practices; illegal practice or custom; offence; crime, or verbal aggression. People sometimes have trouble recognising that they are being abused. Recognising abuse may be especially difficult for someone who has lived with it for many years. However, it is always okay to talk to a trusted adult or friend if you…

Abusers are not easy to spot. There is no ‘typical’ abuser. They may appear friendly and loving to their partner and family in public. However, they often only abuse behind closed doors. They also try to hide the abuse by causing injuries that can be hidden and do not need a doctor. Partners often report the following:¹ He has this attitude that ”I owe him.” He twists things around and says that it is always my fault. He runs my life, which suffocates me. Others think highly of him – they never see the side I have to live with. …

“Learning is the only thing the mind never exhausts, never fears, and never regrets.” – Leonardo da Vinci. What is a learnership program? A learnership is a work-based learning programme that leads to an NQF-registered qualification.  An NQF level 4 equals a grade 12 certificate. Learnership programmes are directly related to an occupation or field of work, such as electrical engineering, hairdressing, or project management. Learnership programmes can help you gain the necessary skills and workplace experience to open up better employment or self-employment opportunities. The QCTO manages learnership programmes in South Africa. What is the QCTO? The Quality Council for Trades and Occupations…

“If you want to earn a certain amount of money, develop yourself into the person who is worth being paid that amount of money.” What does it mean to be employable? ‘Employability’ is a set of achievements—skills, understandings, and personal attributes—that make a person more likely to gain employment and be successful in their chosen occupations, which benefits themselves, the workforce, the community, and the economy. Employability is not the same as gaining a job. Rather it implies something about the person’s capacity to function in a job and move between positions, thus remaining employable throughout their life. It comprises of a…

The Internet is one of the five most remarkable inventions of all time. The good and bad thing about it is that it allows news to travel fast. Lies travel to. ”It is said that a lie can travel halfway around the world via the Internet in the time it takes to tie your shoes.” Imran Idris A social media post you did as a teen can haunt you later. A child, teen or adult can be targeted by a cyber predator with harmful, even tragic consequences. Everyone must learn the fundamentals of digital citizenship and safety to explore the…

What is a toxic parent? A parent who won’t compromise, take responsibility for their behaviour, or apologize is toxic. They often have a mental illness or serious addiction. They can cause a lot of pain and lasting psychological problems for their children. Read more about: Are your parents toxic? Do you have toxic parents? Here are some questions you can answer that can guide you if they are or not: Adapted from ”Codependency for Dummies. 2nd Ed. 2014. John Wiley & Son, Inc.” by Darlene Lancer. 2108 How does a child react to toxic parents? For many children, this is…

HIV  – the Human Immunodeficiency Virus, is the virus that causes Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS) and is transmitted by blood and body fluids. There are an estimated 38 million people around the world who are living with HIV 8,45 million of them live in South Africa. Only 5,7 million are on ARVs in South Africa. Approximately 4000 new infections occur per day in South Africa. (average 1,5 million per year.) In 2022, approximately 630,000 people died of AIDS-related illness. The condition that is referred to as AIDS is caused by HIV damaging the immune system cells until the immune…

”Never let someone who contributes so little to a relationship control so much of it.” Geekoandfly Signs that can indicate a potential abusive relationship People associate abuse with bruises, black eyes and other physical injuries. There are, however, forms of abuse in relationships that do not leave marks on the physical body – emotional abuse, for example, impacts your mental health. Relationships mostly start with partners being the most wonderful person ever – they are attentive and charming – 100% what you hoped and dreamed of. There is, however, no person that matches you 100%. Often, the potential abuser wooed…

The relationship between depression and unemployment poses a unique problem – the more you can’t find employment, the more depressed you become, the less motivated you are to seek employment. An unemployed person has a real risk of developing anxiety and depression. So many people lost their jobs during the past year with lockdowns and businesses closing down. Jobs are very scarce in some sectors, and the job market has changed significantly. When you are under pressure to secure a new job, feelings of anger, frustration, hopelessness, and depression can easily develop. Of all aspects of social misery nothing is…

83% of young people say they do not have an adult in their life who understands what they are going through Mental illness is a medical condition that affects a person’s thinking, feelings, mood and ability to relate to others. Fast facts about mental health & young people Half of all mental illness starts at age 14. One (1) in 5 South Africans has a mental illness. In South Africa, there are 23 suicides every day, with 230 attempted suicide incidents. Suicide in young people between 10 and 14 has doubled over the past 15 years. 60% of all addicts…

Human trafficking is the trade of humans for forced labour, sexual slavery, or commercial sexual exploitation for the trafficker or others. https://www.dhs.gov/xlibrary/videos/blue-campaign/16_04_20_bc-infographic.mp4 Is there human trafficking in South Africa? South Africa has been identified as an essential destination, country of origin, and transit for individuals trafficked to and from Africa and globally.  There were between 28,000 and 38,000 prostituted children in South Africa in 2000, according to a study by Songolo. The figure stood at 45,000 in 2010. It was estimated that it could be 100,000 by 2019. The study also reported that 25% of the prostituted population in Cape Town…

My thoughts… “Nothing matters.” “I wonder how many people would come to my funeral?” “Sometimes, I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up.” “Everyone would be better off without me.” “You won’t have to worry about me much longer.” These are RED FLAGS and warrant immediate attention – seek professional help immediately.  “Soak up the views. Take in the bad weather and the good weather. You are not the storm.” Matt Haig The good news is: Suicide is preventable. Depression and suicidal feelings are treatable mental disorders. The bad news: Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of…

STDs are highly contagious diseases that are mainly passed from one person to another during sex. There are at least 25 different sexually transmitted diseases with a range of different symptoms. Sexually transmitted infections (also known as STIs, or STDs for ‘sexually transmitted diseases,’ or VD for ‘venereal diseases’) are infections that commonly have a high probability of being spread from person to person through sexual contact. What is an STI? An STI (sexually transmitted infection) is a germ (virus, bacteria, parasite) that can cause an illness inside a person even though it doesn’t have any symptoms. STI is broader…

Is there a difference between being alone and being single? Unfortunately, many people also confuse “singleness” with being alone. Loneliness or being alone: Isn’t it weird that more people feel isolated and alone nowadays? Yet, there are 8 billion people on the planet with the internet and social media that keep all of us connected. Some people are afraid of being alone. They believe they need people around them to feel happy and content. Why is it difficult for someone to be alone? Is there something wrong with you if you always feel alone?  Loneliness is not quantified by the amount…

What is journaling? Journaling is thinking about your life and writing a line about it. It is a written record of your thoughts, feelings, observations and ideas. Like a diary, it can contain your experiences and events. What are the benefits of journaling? As per a recent study, individuals with different medical conditions and anxiety levels who wrote online for 15 minutes three days a week over 12 weeks experienced enhanced feelings of well-being and reduced depressive symptoms after a month.  NOTE: Gratitude journaling for just a few minutes daily can improve your mental well-being. Expressing yourself when overwhelming emotions…

“On the other side of a storm is the strength that comes from navigating through it. Raise your sail and begin.” – Gregory S. Williams Life is tough – all of us experience complex events that we struggle to cope with: The death of a loved one, loss of a job, serious illness, failure in school, unemployment, financial burdens, rape, and other traumatic events. These are all examples of very challenging life experiences.  Many people react to such circumstances with solid emotions and uncertainty. What enables some people to bear such burdens and rise again despite immense challenges? It involves…

The reason could be the overuse of technology (cell phones, for example.)  According to researchers, “connection addiction” can rewire (hi-jack) your brain. “A computer is like electronic cocaine, fueling cycles of mania followed by depressive stretches,” says Peter Whybrow, the Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior director at UCLA. What does brain hijacking mean? Brain hijacking is the application of principles from fields such as neuroscience, behavioural psychology, and sociology to develop compulsive elements for consumer technologies. “The more you engage in any type of emotion or behaviour, the greater your desire for it will become”.  Are my kids addicted to…

Of all human emotions, perhaps the most useless and destructive is self-pity. Self-pity is excessive, self-absorbed unhappiness over one’s troubles. Unlike depression, self-pity is a choice. It keeps you stuck, prevents you from reaching your full potential, undermines your confidence and makes you feel helpless and disempowered. How does it feel to be around someone who wallows in self-pity? DRAINING. Know that self-pity drives people away. It repels people rather than attracts compassion. Does self-pitying attract empathy from others? NO People reckon such a person seems to have enough sympathy from themselves already. Does it have any benefits to…

“You don’t own me…” For one in three young people, their first love introduces physical, emotional or sexual abuse. Partner-on-partner violence is more common in South Africa than in any other country. Not surprisingly, one-third of young girls experience abuse and violence in their first relationships as teens. Dating violence often occurs when one partner wants to exert power and control over the other, and boys and girls fall victim to dating violence. What is dating violence? Dating violence is any controlling, abusive or aggressive behaviour in a romantic relationship. It can happen in straight or gay relationships. It can include verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse.…

Statistics on unwanted /unplanned pregnancies: “Mothers with tertiary education (11,4%) were four times less likely to have unwanted births compared to mothers with no education (46,3%).” ( http://www.statssa.gov.za/publications/Report-03-00-02/Report-03-00-022020.pdf) “New figures from the Gauteng Department of Health show that more than 23,000 girls under 18 gave birth between April 2020 and March 2021 – of which 934 were under 14 – compared to 14,577 girls aged 19 and under having babies in the same period a year earlier.” (https://reliefweb.int/report/south-africa/teen-pregnancies-south-africa-jump-60-during-covid-19-pandemic) Confirming a pregnancy is a joy to most women, but an unplanned pregnancy is often a shock, a cause of panic and stress. “Early pregnancy and motherhood in South…

‘You can spend a lifetime trying to forget just a few minutes of your childhood.’ Kristen Butler Victims of sexual abuse during childhood feel terribly ashamed and often responsible for what happened to them. Sworn to secrecy, they are often too young to understand what happened and lack the vocabulary to seek help.¹ Childhood sexual abuse requires treatment to prevent depression and other mental health problems later in life. Statistics have revealed that children are 3x more likely to be victims of rape than adults. In addition, perpetrators of child sexual abuse and rape are more often family members and…

“PTSD is a whole-body tragedy, an integral human event of enormous proportions with massive repercussions.”  Susan Pease Banitt Fact:  All humans will experience a trauma of some sort somewhere in their lives. Psychological stress and trauma on the body have genuine physical manifestations in the body, such as tension, heart palpitations, trembling, and pain—particularly trauma that hasn’t been fully processed or even acknowledged by the person who experienced it. It means our mind and body are intimately intertwined. Is it possible for unprocessed trauma to get “stored” not just in your subconscious mind and memory but also throughout your physical…

What can you do with Grade 9 in South Africa? You have two options. Your first option is studying, and your second option is working. What qualification can you study after Grade 9? While universities require a bachelor’s pass at the matric level, TVET colleges accept students who’ve passed Grades 9, 10, 11, or 12. Some colleges offer up to 300 different courses. These include the National Certificate (Vocational), NATED / Report 191, NQF Full Time, and Learnerships. This means learners with a formal grade 9 certificate can choose to complete their matric through a traditional academic or technical school or enrol in…

Online dating has become more popular with the rise of the internet, and it is believed that 1:5 relationships and 1:6 marriages begin this way. Fast facts on online dating About 17% of marriages and 20% of relationships begin online. 49 million people have tried online dating, + 8,000 dating sites exist in the world What are the dangers of online dating? About one in 10 people use online dating websites to scam other people. One way people try to scam others they meet online is to get money from them. They build a relationship of trust at first by grooming.…

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“Grooming works by mixing positive behaviours with elements of abuse. In the beginning, all behaviours are positive. Slowly, harsh elements are added in amounts that surprise the survivor but do not push the alarm to a high level. Over time the inappropriate come to feel normal.” Michael Samsel What is Grooming? Grooming is the predatory act of manoeuvring another individual into a position that makes them more isolated, dependent, likely to trust, and more vulnerable to abusive behaviour. The goal is to prepare the other person for abuse (for example, sexual or financial) later. Therefore, the groomer’s first step is…

Do you ever feel like you’re on the edge of civilization in your town or school, with limited resources holding you back? Don’t worry; there are ways to prepare yourself for work or tertiary education. Let’s explore some ideas to help you expand your horizons despite your circumstances. Remember, your potential is not defined by your resources but by your determination and willingness to learn. Learn to communicate  Participate in drama groups, public speaking, debating clubs, student radio presenting, class rep, and student mentor. Get practical work experience as a receptionist, or in telesales or market research, or choose to…

Are you familiar with the concept of 12 steps in a relationship? Interestingly, it’s not just about the three bases. Developing a healthy and long-lasting relationship requires a deep understanding. https://youtu.be/ObbL7hCppJY A behavioural scientist, Desmond Morris, first described ”The 12 steps of intimacy. ” These steps explain the progression in a relationship from “Who on earth are you?” to “I cannot live without you.” Taking the time to go through these steps can help create a deeper connection with your partner. Studies have indicated that couples who follow these steps tend to have longer and more satisfying relationships, with a lower…

“Hope for love, pray for love, wish for love, dream for love…but don’t put your life on hold waiting for love.” Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass Important things you have to know: Firstly, you have to be happy and content on your own to be satisfied with another person. Never expect your partner to make you happy. He/she can add to your happiness and contentment and help you lead a fuller life. They will not be able to ‘make’ you happy. If that is what you expect from a partner, you will be…

How you argue — especially ending an argument — can determine your relationship’s long-term success or failure. A primary requirement for any fight is to maintain control. You do not have the license to be childish, abusive or immature. If you have legitimate feelings, you are entitled to give a reasonable voice to those feelings constructively. (That includes not being self-righteous or taking yourself too seriously.) Disagreements in relationships are inevitable. Do you go into it with a spirit of looking for resolution, or do you go into it meaning to get even, vengeance, and control? You’ll never win if…