The following article appeared in https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/how-to-manage-stress-stay-positive-while-unemployed-0714165

1. Share what you are going through with the people in your life. Bottling up your emotions turns you into a shaken soda can. You can keep the emotions suppressed for a long time, but eventually, you will explode, and all those bottled-up emotions will come pouring out. If you have some bad news or major upset, tell people close to you about it and how you feel.

2. Stay active and engaged in activities, even if you have to force yourself. Although you may want to be alone (increased isolation leads to increased loneliness), you may feel better if you try to participate in some routine activities you previously enjoyed with your family and friends. Volunteering is another way to fight isolation, and it has the added benefit of allowing you to give back to the community. Volunteering can also provide valuable networking opportunities.

3. Practice self-care. Make a list of small activities that you can do once a day that you enjoy. It doesn’t have to cost money. Read a book from the library, go for a walk, a bicycle ride, swim, watch a movie, visit a friend for coffee, or bake something.

4. Practice self-love. Don’t be tough or critical of yourself. You have to love yourself first before other people can love you. Make friends with yourself.

5.  Allow yourself time to heal and adapt.  Don’t expect an overnight miracle. Feeling better takes time. Keep your expectations realistic. Understand that depression is an illness, and it takes time to adapt your lifestyle, for the medicine to work, and for you to resume your activities as before.

6. Avoid making any major decisions, such as relocating or ending a relationship, until you feel better.

7. Practice eating a healthy diet, at least 80% of the time.  Under or overeating is a symptom of depression. It is essential to have a well-balanced diet that prevents tiredness and feeling run down.

8. Practice healthy coping skills. Avoid “soothing” with smoking, drug use, or alcohol, which can all cause dependencies. In particular, alcohol is a depressant and, despite giving it a temporary lift, can worsen depression.

9. Separate planning from doing. Being unemployed creates a situation where many people feel they will do anything out of desperation. It can cause the person to become tangled up in making lists and plans without following anything. Plan today (preferably every evening) what you will do tomorrow. Write it down. It keeps you focused and crosses it off the list when you completed the task. Taking time to reflect can increase your chances of learning from your experiences. At the end of each day, look at your list and cross off the things you’ve accomplished. Try writing down what you feel proud of accomplishing that day.

10. Keep a regular sleep/wake schedule. Don’t just sleep till you wake up (which can be 11h00) because you have nothing better to do. When you have a whole day to yourself, it can seem like you have all the time in the world, but this time goes by quickly, and before you know it, a year has passed. Going to bed and waking up at the same time every day can help you stay productive and will also regulate your mood. Set an alarm Monday through Friday. Having a plan will help you to make the best of each day, and it fights depression. One of the best rules to get going for persons who really struggle to get out of bed is to wake up, stand up and make your bed neatly. Then you are ready to start the day.

1. Target your resume

As a general rule, you should never stop editing your resume for the rest of your career. Research shows that most employers spend less than 30 seconds reading a CV. Develop an infographic CV where they can see a synopsis of who you are on one page.

2. Revamp your resume post-interview.

Continue to revamp your resume throughout your job search process to address any questions potential employers have asked within interviews, which can be key indicators for improving your resume.

3. Start looking for jobs right away – AND DON’T STOP.

The job hunt can take a while, so it’s best to start as early as possible. If a job prospect seems promising, don’t stop your search until you have an employment offer that is signed, sealed, and delivered.

4. Don’t waste time and effort.

Don’t waste your time by applying for jobs you already know you don’t qualify for. Rather spend your time looking for a position that has actual potential!

5. Invest in a great interview outfit.

Pick something timeless, professional, simple, and polished that won’t go out of style. Men should look for a nice suit or even go for a nice pair of dress pants and an Oxford shirt. Women should look for a simple dark dress and blazer or dark pants or skirt paired with a simple white blouse and, perhaps, a blazer.

6. Grow your network.

It’s important to build your network of professional contacts within your industry. You can do this by joining professional organizations and getting involved in their events.

7. Be realistic.

As a recent college graduate, you likely have limited experience. As a result, you may not be qualified for your “dream job” right out of the gate. Working toward your dream job is what your ultimate goal should be. Many college graduates take on jobs that have nothing to do with their degree or don’t even require degrees to pay bills

8. Stay open to different possibilities.

Avoid boxing yourself into one job description. Getting your foot in the door is often a bridge to your dream job. Rather than turning down a job offer that is not your dream job, consider where any job offer may lead. Always be open to learning new skills while you are searching.

The beliefs people have about themselves and the world around them come in 2 categories

1.            Sensible or rational beliefs: they are true; they make sense or are helpful.

2.            Foolish or irrational beliefs: these are untrue, don’t make sense, or are not helpful.

The foolish, irrational beliefs or thoughts are cognitive distortions. To feel like a failure is a cognitive distortion. Cognitive distortions are inaccurate thoughts that reinforce negative thought patterns or emotions. They are faulty ways of thinking that convince us of a reality that is simply not true. It is tough to get ahead if you are overwhelmed by negative thoughts.

There are a few main cognitive distortions that you need to know about and perhaps recognize in yourself:

1. Filtering: it refers to how many of us can somehow ignore all of the positive and good things in our life and focus solely on the negative. It can be far too easy to dwell on a single negative aspect and ignore many good things.

2.’Black and White Thinking’’: It is all about seeing black and white only, with no grey shades. This is all-or-nothing thinking, with no room for complexity or nuance. If you don’t perform perfectly in one area, you may see yourself as a total failure instead of simply unskilled in one area.

3. Overgeneralization: is taking a single incident or point in time and using it as the sole piece of evidence for a broad general conclusion. For example – you went for a job interview. It was a bad interview, and you didn’t get the job. Now you assume you are bad at interviews – period.

4. Jumping to conclusions: refers to the tendency to be sure of something without any evidence at all. For example, you believe someone dislikes you without the flimsiest of proof.

5. Blaming: We assign our responsibility for an outcome by blaming others for what goes wrong.

6. Crazy-making: When confronted by others, the person tells them they are totally wrong and off-track with their observation – thereby telling them they can’t trust their own perceptions.

7. Compartmentalizing: The person divides life into compartments, where one has nothing to do with the rest. It is a way of keeping thoughts, feelings, and behaviours separate from the other parts of your life.

8. Hopeless & helpless: The person believes nothing can improve the situation and feels all is lost.

How do you challenge and change foolish, irrational beliefs (FIB)?

A foolish belief can be turned into a question, and then you can dispute it, for example:

FIB: Nothing good ever happens to me and never will.

Question the FIB: Does nothing good ever happen to me?

Answer: I have a good, caring family. I cannot say that nothing good ever happened to me.

FIB: I always fail

Question the FIB: Do I always fail?

Answer: I’ve done some useful things in the past, so I don’t always fail.

FIB: I deserve this

Question the FIB: Do I deserve this?

Answer: I don’t deserve this – life is tough, and everyone has tough times. I am not specifically being tormented.

FIB: I’m totally worthless.

Question the FIB: Am I totally worthless?

Answer: Although I have done some stupid things, I have also done some good things with success, so I cannot judge myself as a worthless person

The following article appeared in https://www.moneycrashers.com/budgeting-tips-5s-system/

1. Make a Budget

The first step for any family wanting to take control of their finances is to make a budget. A budget will allow you to understand where your money is going and enable you to adjust your spending by designating how much you can afford.

2. Live Within your Means

Be honest with yourself about what you can afford. Don’t go into debt to get a brand-new BMW when you can only afford a used Corolla. Don’t go on a shopping spree and rack up bills on a credit card. Aim to pay for everything with cash instead of with credit. If you do not have any cash to buy something, it’s imperative to understand the difference between needs and wants before using credit.

3. Cut Down on Expenses

Look over your expenses to see what you could do without them. The first and most obvious expense is digital TV. The cost in SA for a digital subscription can be R1100 per month, and you are wasting a lot of time watching pointless television. Also, consider getting rid of expensive gym memberships – which in SA can be R800 per month. Start finding alternative ways to exercise at home and stay in shape.

4. Earn Extra Income

If you cut every expense from your budget that you possibly can but still can’t pay your bills, consider finding ways to bring in some extra cash. You can do many things to earn extra money at home, working just a few hours a week, such as freelance writing, web design, and babysitting. Consider starting a small home business, but watch out for work-from-home scams and get-rich-quick schemes.

6. Downsize

Most of us like to have a lot of stuff, but do we really need it all? Do you use everything you own, or is there something in your home that you could sell online on Amazon or eBay? Think about your home. Perhaps you do not need as much space as you currently have and can downsize to a smaller home or apartment. There are many benefits to downsizing the home that will save you a lot of money.

7. Become Self-Sufficient

I am fascinated by becoming self-sufficient, although I am also intimidated by it. Of course, becoming self-sufficient is a process and not an overnight transformation. Some ways to become more self-sufficient include growing your vegetables in a home garden, cooking and cleaning the house yourself, making your own homemade baby food recipes, and doing car maintenance.

8. Shop Around

Note specials offered in stores and look at prices when you shop. The most expensive products are usually at eye level, while specials are often on the highest or lowest shelves or at the back of the shelf.

9. Sacrifice

Sometimes, you just have to go without it. Perhaps that means saying no to your friends when they want to go out. Or perhaps that means participating in free activities instead. Sometimes it is necessary to sacrifice some of your “wants” to make life better for your family. You will become a better person for doing so.

The line between luxuries and necessities isn’t always clear, and it can move over time. For example, is fibre internet a luxury in your home for watching movies, or is it necessary because you need it for work?

NEEDS
The dictionary defines a necessity as “an indispensable thing” that everyone needs. Everyone needs some things just to survive, such as food, water, shelter, and clothing. Food will include having access to fresh fruit and vegetables and clean drinking water in your area. Housing is to afford “adequate shelter or housing” for yourself and your family. Health: do you have access to adequate health care, a safe place to exercise, and easy access to medicine?

MUST-HAVES / WANTS:
“Must-Haves” are bills you “have to pay no matter what”. You can’t eliminate these expenses, no matter how low your income is. All the basics, like rent, transportation, insurance, and utilities, go into this category. It could also include a car payment and auto insurance.
Living on a budget often requires cutting spending on Must-Haves and Wants. Downsizing to a smaller house or apartment is a way to get your budget back in balance while still meeting your basic housing needs.

LUXURIES
A luxury is “an inessential, desirable item that is expensive or difficult to obtain.”
Note that this definition has two parts. Luxury isn’t just something “desirable” – it must also be expensive. This suggests that luxuries are valuable for their enjoyment and as a sign of status. If luxury items are, by definition, expensive and unnecessary, then it follows that people must be more likely to buy them when they have plenty of cash.

Economics Help explains this concept by comparing three different types of goods:

Inferior Goods. These are products that people are more likely to buy when their income falls. One example is cheap, single-ply toilet paper, a good way to save money compared to regular, two-ply toilet paper.

Normal Goods are products that people buy all the time—everyday basics like food and clothing. People buy more of these goods when their income is higher, but not much more. They generally buy only what they need, stocking up just a little when they’re flush with cash.

Luxury Goods. These are products that people are much more likely to buy when their income rises. Based on the Pew poll results, two good examples are flat-panel TVs and iPods. If you’ve just gotten a raise or received a hefty tax refund, you’re much more likely to go out and buy a new flat-screen than if you’re on a strict budget.

The line between necessities and luxuries isn’t rigid. It changes over time as new goods enter the market or become obsolete. It also depends on what’s seen as normal – not just in the world, but in your social group. This means that one person’s clear luxury could be considered normal – even necessary – to another. A car could be a luxury if your friends don’t have cars. If everyone you know has a car, it becomes a necessity.

The article appeared in:  https://www.moneycrashers.com/difference-between-needs-wants-luxuries/